Alright, I know it is only nearing the end of February, but hear me out. This has been the worst year ever. In attempts to make a very long, sad, woe-is-me story very short, let me introduce myself.
My name is Carnelia, I am 27 years old, I don’t currently have a job, my car is broken down, I am single, and oh, the best part, I live back at home. Which is not an ideal situation, by any means. So all in all, I am back at zero. Square one.
Yes, yes I know, all that really sucks and it makes me seem like such a low life (in my eyes, at least). I will be the first to admit that I have been living in my bed for quite some time now. I rarely leave the house – between depression, anxiety, migraines, and my transportation down for the count, I don’t have many opportunities to do…anything.
I do have however, an amazing dog named Meika who has stolen all of my love. I fear that even any future human babies won’t be able to compare to her. I have a select group of friends that check on me, and make sure that I am not just letting myself decompose. Really though, they know who they are and they are the real MVP’s of this game called life.
Probably the most important thing I have, is the determination to be BETTER. In all ways. I don’t want to feel sick every day, I don’t want sudden mood swings that make me impossible to deal with, I don’t want crippling anxiety that makes me afraid to get out from under the blankets and get off my bed. I am DONE. I am going to HEAL. I am going to find my place in this world, figure out what I stand for and what I believe in.
And I am going to do it here. Publicly. Because there is no way in H E double hockey sticks that I am the only one. Not a chance. So let’s start from zero. Square one.