Lets Grow

Alright, I know it is only nearing the end of February, but hear me out. This has been the worst year ever. In attempts to make a very long, sad, woe-is-me story very short, let me introduce myself.

My name is Carnelia, I am 27 years old, I don’t currently have a job, my car is broken down, I am single, and oh, the best part, I live back at home. Which is not an ideal situation, by any means. So all in all, I am back at zero. Square one.

Yes, yes I know, all that really sucks and it makes me seem like such a low life (in my eyes, at least). I will be the first to admit that I have been living in my bed for quite some time now. I rarely leave the house – between depression, anxiety, migraines, and my transportation down for the count, I don’t have many opportunities to do…anything.

I do have however, an amazing dog named Meika who has stolen all of my love. I fear that even any future human babies won’t be able to compare to her. I have a select group of friends that check on me, and make sure that I am not just letting myself decompose. Really though, they know who they are and they are the real MVP’s of this game called life.

Probably the most important thing I have, is the determination to be BETTER. In all ways. I don’t want to feel sick every day, I don’t want sudden mood swings that make me impossible to deal with, I don’t want crippling anxiety that makes me afraid to get out from under the blankets and get off my bed. I am DONE. I am going to HEAL. I am going to find my place in this world, figure out what I stand for and what I believe in.

And I am going to do it here. Publicly. Because there is no way in H E double hockey sticks that I am the only one. Not a chance. So let’s start from zero. Square one.

Lets GROW.

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4 thoughts on “Lets Grow”

  1. Wait. Are you me? lol
    Through synchronicity, I kept getting signs to clean my floors (hoodoo uncrossing ritual, comments that your feet lead you where you need to go and hands open all doors, magickal significance of feet in general. So I did a nice clean and herbal wash of the floors and holy smokes did it make a massive improvement in my depression. It just cleared out all that stagnant energy and opened my life back up to good things. Though the moving energy did let some not so great things in too, but such is life haha.

    My point is, maybe do a nice herbal wash to purify your space as a first step in growing. 🙂

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  2. So, I just want to tell you, you can do this. I have had my own ups and downs with depression and anxiety, not so much a crippling thing for me. However, my daughter suffers terribly. It is tough as a mother to watch your baby go through this and not be able to help in some way. So, I just do my best to be there for her. I am listening to her, and I am listening to you.

    Lavender is really good at calming the nerves as are many other essential oils, but, the best thing is to talk. Praying for you!!❤

    Like

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