It’s 8:15 in the morning and I have been up all night thinking.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s best I set aside the work I am doing here. I am too sick, and too stressed to be worrying about running a full website, and not having the resources it takes to realize the goals I have for it. I am going to leave it up, and let all the scheduled posts run their course. I hope people will continue to get use out of it until I return.
I have chronic migraines on top of a few other health problems, and that is not to mention the SEVERE anxiety and depression. I need to stop worrying about things like putting together a content calendar and start focusing on things like, oh i don’t know, wanting to be alive.
My mind has managed to crawl itself into a dark dark hole again, and it’s quite terrifying, the invasive thoughts that I have been having. So instead of pretending I am fine, I am going to step away and try to focus on finding the happy again. If I am being honest, I have been crying all night, because for months, while I’ve been out of work from being sick, this has been the only thing keeping me sane, and getting me up every day, but I have realized that it is now causing me more stress, and it isn’t helping me anymore. So with my mental health crashing again, on top of moving states away from family, almost being homeless, and barely being able to eat, I feel I just have better things to worry about right now. The universe has not been on my side lately and I just need to take some time to straighten my life back out, get back on my feet, and get into a position where I don’t need to be dependent on anyone else anymore.
I wish anyone who finds themselves here the ability to step back and seek help when they need it.
See you around